Sunday, 15 November 2009

  • How comfortable are you when it comes to talking about sex?


       

    I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!


    Maybe a little too comfortable, but I don't see anything wrong with it. It's a way I can define myself as a sexual being in this world. I personally think it goes further than just the physical act. Desires, thought processes and really any mental attitude. Having said that, of course there are other ways to express those. It's definitely not a taboo in my world.
    (I needed a break from my over-packed, full of work life. So I took the time to answer this featured question.)
  • There's is so much going on right now. Through pure selfishness I need time to slow down temporarily, so I can breathe normally, get the right hours of sleep a night (currently, it's about 3/4 hours a night) and maybe eat all my meals in time.

    I especially, hate skipping out on breakfast. It does give me energy and help me think rationally for most parts of a day.

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

  • Has anyone ever wondered why expectations are always considerably higher in relationships as compared to the level of expectations coming from friends?

    Of course, this doesn't work with every issue like sex, or the strong emotions that we want to fulfill to see a smile break out on that significant other's face. But, I am talking about the smaller, miniscule yet very visible to my brain, here. Personally, I don't like that 'but you're my girlfriend and I expect much more out of you' load of bullshit when the chances of having something being less expected from you as a friend is just on the other side of this wall.

    Reminiscent of one of my past relationships I noticed the smallest details such as being asked to stay on the phone longer when all I really wanted to do is get off the phone and do something much more productive then feed a whole lot of 'what are you doing?' 'I miss you' and 'I love you' every fucking 5 seconds. I love hearing those words and I love telling people I do, but only when I want to not because I am obliged to stay on the phone for longer. Another one; it's pretty darn excusable when you're slightly late when you are friends, but the moment sex is involved and being emotionally attached-- they can't accept the idea of you being insignificantly late? It hasn't always been like this for me.

    So... why exactly do I complain about this so much? Because the last thing you want on a beautiful sunny day is one of your ex's (not to mention from a little over year ago) which I have completely gotten over, bombarding you with emails about how his expectations were much higher from me, and when I asked him to point out what makes him think so he said 'You were always late, and we didn't talk long enough on the phone'.

    I really, really though I was the girl in the relationship.
  • It was 1.00AM when I last checked before now. Now... it's 5.37AM. My upper back hurts and my eyes are straining. My legs feel weak, my fingers are forcing themselves upon this keyboard and I could collapse any moment now.

    But my mind is inclined on not letting me sleep.

    I told him I was leaving Melbourne for almost 4 months when I wasn't going anywhere. I don't leave Australia for my summer break until first week December. But, I had to lie to him, again. I love him and I really wish I could tell him what has been happening to me. But without the contentment, I do have to move on forward. I keep telling myself it's going to be over soon and soon enough, everything will fall back into place and I will fall back into his arms. Promising to never lie to him. Even if he doesn't have the slightest clue as to why I am hiding.

    You know, for someone like me to go through something like this has been a big enough deal. I am not one to sulk over issues, usually because I don't have many problems that come my way. I don't dwell or cry much. I hardly ever get stressed or worried about anything and I have never been depressed in my life so far. But let's not jinx that for the future. I'm usually a happy person. I like living knowing that I should be grateful for what I have rather than sulk over something I don't. For the first time ever I have everything I can possibly want or need. I have the most supporting family, the ever amazing boyfriend, a promising education and future and incredible friends. I shouldn't be complaining.

    Something. Does not, feel right though.

    Maybe I over-analyzed what I thought was almost perfect. I should've just stopped daydreaming. Maybe I should stop thinking about it some more. Get some sleep and start over in a couple of hours.

Monday, 09 November 2009

  • Visit asecretliaison's Xanga Site
    • Member Since: 11/9/2009

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